My heart is hurting, I don't really have the words or energy to write well, but my mom deserves one last post. My mother, Patsy Lynn Bode, was the most courageous woman I have ever known. She taught me so many things in life. First and foremost, love the Lord thy God with all they heart, soul, and mind. Secondly, strength, she faced this disease valiantly, never letting on when she was hurting and in pain. She drew her strength from the Lord. Third, her servant's heart was evident to all she met. She loved others well, including her children and grandchildren.
My final promise to her was that I would teach my children to love and know the Lord so that we might all be together again. As I looked at her ragged, worn body, I felt a peace and confidence that she was indeed headed to a better place. We sang "It is well with my soul" as she took her final breath and looked up suddenly, eyes wide, as if she was looking into the face of Jesus.
A mixture of pain and joy continue to wash over me.
My children are a great source of strength (and at times exhaustion:) for me. Aksel sees me crying frequently and says, "Mommy, are you sad because grandma died?" I reply, "Yes love, I miss her very much. Are you sad?" At first his response was "Yes" however, today smiling he said, "No... because she is with God now." How powerful that is. I am reminded about a child-like Faith and truly see that in my children. Emery notices instantly when I am sad and runs to give me a kiss and a hug. We will make it through this tsunami of pain by the grace of God, surrounded by those we love.
At times I am frustrated, crying out, "Why God?" Then I think about the blessing she was in my life and experience gratitude for the time I had with her here on earth and the peace that comes with the promise of seeing her again someday. If even one comes to know the Lord through this pain and her passing, I count it gain. Please continue to pray for my father. His loss is somehow more profound than mine. He cared for her everyday in the most amazing way. I pray for comfort for him as he too learns to carry on. We will never be the same, never again feel whole, but knowing and loving my mother was worth every tear and every pain. My kids will likely remember little about her, but I can continue her legacy the best I can through teaching them to love the Lord and reminding them how deeply she cared for them.
Mom, I say goodbye for now, til I see you again. XOXO
Click here to watch remembrance video of Grandma
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Friday, November 6, 2015
Prayer Warriors needed....
So here I am ... Waiting for mom to come out of her interventional radiology procedure. She had to be admitted to the ICU last night/this morning and so I drove up from Portland to be by her side. I needed to be here, wanted to be here. She is fragile right now and we are all at times emotional. She was doing so well, but a second intestinal bleed occurred and they are now fixing it. I have no video to attach to this, today we just pray for mom to have the strength to continue on and to guide they hands of those who work with her. This is the space I was so scared of finding myself in... but here we are. This is a time for prayer, because truly God's hand has to be at work to give her (and us) the strength she (we) need. We'll keep you posted. Xoxo
UPdATE: They were able to control the bleeding for now... We won't know whether it will solve the issue for good until time passes. Please continue to pray! Thank you!
2nd procedure: this was very scary and critical... but praise the Lord!!! She made it through. We now wait and hope the procedure (IR) was enough to fix her issues. Of course it was a rare bleed in the lower small intestine (first case one of them had seen) which is likely an anatomical anomalie which means it could possibly happen elsewhere. There is also a chance the bowel could "die" in which case she'd need to go to surgery. She is not currently a good candidate for surgery, so pray for health and strength. Thanks for your prayers!!! Today seems proof that miracles happen as the physicians hands were guided. Blessed be the name of the Lord!!!! The next 48 hrs are critical... So keep up the prayer chain... You are all amazing!
Well... Mom made it out of surgery last night. They resected 5 feet of her bowel. Her bleeding has stopped, but her body is now going into shock from all the trauma and blood transfusions. She is likely not long for this earth. Thanks for your continued prayers. We now ask peace for the family and for mom as she prepares for heaven. ❤️
We rejoice that mom has gone to heaven where there is no pain or sorrow, but I selfishly want her here. God had other plans that we don't always understand, but I praise Him for His goodness to us despite everything. We will see her in heaven someday... There is comfort in that. I will remind my children how much their grandma loved them. She was such a woman of Faith and strength and I am forever grateful to have had her in my life.
Lord,
We delivered mom to you today. We literally sang her into Your Glory. Thank you for that opportunity. We don't understand your plans, but we trust they are good and perfect. Continue to watch over us as we grieve her loss. We love you, thanks for gifting us eternal life.
Amen
UPdATE: They were able to control the bleeding for now... We won't know whether it will solve the issue for good until time passes. Please continue to pray! Thank you!
2nd procedure: this was very scary and critical... but praise the Lord!!! She made it through. We now wait and hope the procedure (IR) was enough to fix her issues. Of course it was a rare bleed in the lower small intestine (first case one of them had seen) which is likely an anatomical anomalie which means it could possibly happen elsewhere. There is also a chance the bowel could "die" in which case she'd need to go to surgery. She is not currently a good candidate for surgery, so pray for health and strength. Thanks for your prayers!!! Today seems proof that miracles happen as the physicians hands were guided. Blessed be the name of the Lord!!!! The next 48 hrs are critical... So keep up the prayer chain... You are all amazing!
Well... Mom made it out of surgery last night. They resected 5 feet of her bowel. Her bleeding has stopped, but her body is now going into shock from all the trauma and blood transfusions. She is likely not long for this earth. Thanks for your continued prayers. We now ask peace for the family and for mom as she prepares for heaven. ❤️
We rejoice that mom has gone to heaven where there is no pain or sorrow, but I selfishly want her here. God had other plans that we don't always understand, but I praise Him for His goodness to us despite everything. We will see her in heaven someday... There is comfort in that. I will remind my children how much their grandma loved them. She was such a woman of Faith and strength and I am forever grateful to have had her in my life.
Lord,
We delivered mom to you today. We literally sang her into Your Glory. Thank you for that opportunity. We don't understand your plans, but we trust they are good and perfect. Continue to watch over us as we grieve her loss. We love you, thanks for gifting us eternal life.
Amen
Friday, October 16, 2015
Kroegers take the Pumpkin Patch; Blessings & Frustrations for Grandma this week
Yesterday we decided to take advantage of the crazy 80 degree weather we are having and live it up at Lee Farms Pumpkin Patch. We jumped on a giant pillow, joined a hayride and met some animal friends. Earlier in the day, Emery decided to take up skateboarding and demonstrate her ambidextrous skills all while Aks was at school. All in all.... a fun and busy day!
Keep praying! Mom received some interesting news this past week. After NIH reviewed her chart information, they decided they didn't agree with her previous diagnosis. AHHH! They believe she has the broad, more general peripheral T-cell lymphoma rather than the extremely rare type. Under this better known (but still rare) diagnosis she qualifies for the stem cell transplant! We are excited that this means insurance will cover the stem cell transplant and are very relieved that it will likely happen in Seattle as opposed to D.C.
However, as you may imagine... it is frustrating to think that with this diagnosis, she could have had the stem cell transplant back in August when her body was ready. Since then, the differentiated chemo has caused nerve damage in her feet and suddenly her EBV count has once again increased. Although she had great periods of feeling strong, the last 2 weeks have been difficult and included 2 more visits to the ER and one hospital admission. We have to continue to trust in God's plan for her. This change in diagnosis will not likely change her prognosis, but we will know more when she feels well enough to meet with the doctors at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. Please join us in prayer for continued direction in her treatment of this cancer. We pray healing over her body again in order to prepare for the stem cell transplant. Thanks for your continued prayers!
Click Here for video
Keep praying! Mom received some interesting news this past week. After NIH reviewed her chart information, they decided they didn't agree with her previous diagnosis. AHHH! They believe she has the broad, more general peripheral T-cell lymphoma rather than the extremely rare type. Under this better known (but still rare) diagnosis she qualifies for the stem cell transplant! We are excited that this means insurance will cover the stem cell transplant and are very relieved that it will likely happen in Seattle as opposed to D.C.
However, as you may imagine... it is frustrating to think that with this diagnosis, she could have had the stem cell transplant back in August when her body was ready. Since then, the differentiated chemo has caused nerve damage in her feet and suddenly her EBV count has once again increased. Although she had great periods of feeling strong, the last 2 weeks have been difficult and included 2 more visits to the ER and one hospital admission. We have to continue to trust in God's plan for her. This change in diagnosis will not likely change her prognosis, but we will know more when she feels well enough to meet with the doctors at Seattle Cancer Care Alliance. Please join us in prayer for continued direction in her treatment of this cancer. We pray healing over her body again in order to prepare for the stem cell transplant. Thanks for your continued prayers!
Click Here for video
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Birthday cheer to the ER... continued prayers
Sorry our posts/videos have been MIA lately. Travis' grandma passed and he was able to take a trip to visit his family in Iowa. Life always holds the sweetest moments bundled with the pain. I personally look forward to life beyond this one, but hold dear to the familiar of what I know here on earth.
This post is a mix of weeks past, time with grandma and birthday celebrations together. We did not include video from this week as 2 for 3 kiddos have croup... and I am getting NO SLEEP. :0 On the bright side, Madsen only woke up at 2:30am and 6:00am last night, but Emery needed me in her bottom bunk every 30 minutes saying, "I can't be on my own sowf mommy."
Unfortunately mom had to be admitted to the ER this past Sunday night. She had uncontrollable nausea, pain and developed a 103 degree fever. She ended up with an unexplained colitis that they are monitoring. Please pray for her healing and that they hear back from NIH soon to continue the process towards a stem cell transplant.
Her visit to the ER was disheartening and feels like a step back. It seems difficult to swallow her hurting and pain compared to the beautiful 3 weeks she has had, however just as in all of our lives, the ups and downs just make us stronger if we look to the One from where our strength comes from. In that vein, may strength and peace extend to families in the Umpqua Community College shooting. My heart breaks for those hurting just 2.5 hrs from us in Roseburg, OR. "Lord, may you comfort those broken from the senseless loss of those whose lives were cut too short. We don't have answers, but we know that we are all broken and capable of heinous sin. Be our Light amidst the brokenness. May love transcend. Amen."
click HERE for video
This post is a mix of weeks past, time with grandma and birthday celebrations together. We did not include video from this week as 2 for 3 kiddos have croup... and I am getting NO SLEEP. :0 On the bright side, Madsen only woke up at 2:30am and 6:00am last night, but Emery needed me in her bottom bunk every 30 minutes saying, "I can't be on my own sowf mommy."
Unfortunately mom had to be admitted to the ER this past Sunday night. She had uncontrollable nausea, pain and developed a 103 degree fever. She ended up with an unexplained colitis that they are monitoring. Please pray for her healing and that they hear back from NIH soon to continue the process towards a stem cell transplant.
Her visit to the ER was disheartening and feels like a step back. It seems difficult to swallow her hurting and pain compared to the beautiful 3 weeks she has had, however just as in all of our lives, the ups and downs just make us stronger if we look to the One from where our strength comes from. In that vein, may strength and peace extend to families in the Umpqua Community College shooting. My heart breaks for those hurting just 2.5 hrs from us in Roseburg, OR. "Lord, may you comfort those broken from the senseless loss of those whose lives were cut too short. We don't have answers, but we know that we are all broken and capable of heinous sin. Be our Light amidst the brokenness. May love transcend. Amen."
click HERE for video
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Emery turns 3!
Sweet and spunky baby girl isn't a baby anymore. She is establishing herself well between her brothers and she definitely knows how to push Aksel's buttons already. Oh boy. :) This is a short clip of our day today celebrating Emery. Her party day is Saturday, so this celebration was nice and low key.
Click here for VIDEO
Update on mom! Keep praying you warriors. It has been such a wonderful blessing for her to have her energy and zeal for life back during the break from chemo. As many of you may have noticed, she decided she needed a recumbent bike to start working out and regaining some strength. Love her! She's been eating well as the sores in her mouth have subsided. What an answer to prayer!!! She had the opportunity to surprise many family members in Lynden with a short visit yesterday which has been rejuvenating for all of us to see!
Today she started chemo once again, but at a slightly lower dosage. This particular chemo is working well to target her EBV cells as the count has now dropped to 400!!! (I believe I remember it was 38,000 prior to chemo) Praise the Lord once again. We continue to wait to hear about the possibility of her being accepted as a study subject for the stem cell transplant at NIH. Please pray the physicians there respond to this request. It would alleviate much of the financial stress of taking 3/4 of a million out of their retirement.
Thanks for praying for Grandma!!!
An old favorite verse of mine that pops in my head tonight:
"Even lions grow weary and tired, but those who look to the Lord will have every good thing."
Click here for VIDEO
Update on mom! Keep praying you warriors. It has been such a wonderful blessing for her to have her energy and zeal for life back during the break from chemo. As many of you may have noticed, she decided she needed a recumbent bike to start working out and regaining some strength. Love her! She's been eating well as the sores in her mouth have subsided. What an answer to prayer!!! She had the opportunity to surprise many family members in Lynden with a short visit yesterday which has been rejuvenating for all of us to see!
Today she started chemo once again, but at a slightly lower dosage. This particular chemo is working well to target her EBV cells as the count has now dropped to 400!!! (I believe I remember it was 38,000 prior to chemo) Praise the Lord once again. We continue to wait to hear about the possibility of her being accepted as a study subject for the stem cell transplant at NIH. Please pray the physicians there respond to this request. It would alleviate much of the financial stress of taking 3/4 of a million out of their retirement.
Thanks for praying for Grandma!!!
An old favorite verse of mine that pops in my head tonight:
"Even lions grow weary and tired, but those who look to the Lord will have every good thing."
Psalm34:10
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Thursday visit from gram & gramps!
We were overjoyed to welcome grandma and grandpa to our home this past Thursday!!! Did you get that? She travelled... to Portland!!! Mom finally felt well enough due to the doctors orders to take a week off of chemo. It was such a blessing to be able to have her and dad visit our new home and to be able to see the grandkids doing their normal day to day stuff here at home. We also celebrated Emery's 3rd birthday with them a week early. Many of you know, but they used to come down to watch the kiddos two Fridays a month while Trav and I were at work. I know both they and the kids treasured those special trips and we've been sad to miss them these past 8 months. This video includes our time together here the last couple days.
Click here for VIDEO
Keep praying for mom! She returns to chemo this next week. Pray this renewed strength carries her through this next phase of the unknown. The doctor really doesn't want mom and dad to spend the $700,000+ on the stem cell transplant and so they are in communication with NIH (national institute of health) to see if they would like to conduct a study on her case to substantially reduce costs. Even though mom is doing well this week, ultimately we know that she needs healing which will not come from chemo alone. Please pray that we get answers swiftly as to whether or not NIH will cover some of these costs. This would mean that she would have to go to NIH in D.C. for the treatment. Thanks for your prayers! Keep them coming! We are so grateful to all of you!
Click here for VIDEO
Keep praying for mom! She returns to chemo this next week. Pray this renewed strength carries her through this next phase of the unknown. The doctor really doesn't want mom and dad to spend the $700,000+ on the stem cell transplant and so they are in communication with NIH (national institute of health) to see if they would like to conduct a study on her case to substantially reduce costs. Even though mom is doing well this week, ultimately we know that she needs healing which will not come from chemo alone. Please pray that we get answers swiftly as to whether or not NIH will cover some of these costs. This would mean that she would have to go to NIH in D.C. for the treatment. Thanks for your prayers! Keep them coming! We are so grateful to all of you!
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Kids go to OMSI; keep prayin for gma!
Grandma had another 4 hr infusion of chemo this week and was feeling under the weather, but is starting to feel better. We don't have much more info than last week and will hopefully know more about when the stem cell transplant is happening by next week. Please continue to pray that that we are able to find a way for insurance to cover this treatment. Mom's doctor is in communication with the National Institute of Health (NIH) which may offer another option. We are resting in the peace that God has a plan for mom. Please join us in prayer for healing for grandma.
Aksel, Emery and Madsen miss you grandma and grandpa! Madsen had his 4 month check-up, we took a trip to OMSI and Emery helped me finish her mermaid birthday invitations! It was a good day... here's a peak.
click here for VIDEO
Aksel, Emery and Madsen miss you grandma and grandpa! Madsen had his 4 month check-up, we took a trip to OMSI and Emery helped me finish her mermaid birthday invitations! It was a good day... here's a peak.
click here for VIDEO
Friday, August 14, 2015
A little catch up... keep prayin' for ma/grandma!
Sorry we haven't posted in a while. Mom has had many ups and downs the past couple weeks. She was feeling great after taking a break from her chemo at which point we were able to head north with the family and just spend time together. This video highlights some of that time together as well as the prayer and worship candlelight vigil that their church was able pull together in their back yard two weeks ago. Since then, mom has had different treatment/chemo which has made her very nauseous and weak. This "intermediate" chemo was done partially because their has been quite a "hiccup" in the overall treatment plan. Unfortunately, their medicare insurance will only pay for an autologous stem cell transplant (using her own cells) rather than an allogeneic transplant (using donor cells... e.g. Uncle Rick) she needs. The autologous is covered, the allogeneic transplant will be over $700,000. This is very frustrating as it is what she NEEDS medically. My dad is prepared to make it work, whatever the cost... but we are trying hard to figure out how to get medicare to make an exception. Needless to say, prayers would be appreciated! Currently they are waiting for the stem cell transplant team to give her a date to start the allogeneic treatment. This will be difficult on her body and we are praying for everything to go as smoothly as possible.
PLEASE PRAY:
- for her body to continue to stay strong (she required hydration today and will likely need treatment to boost her white blood cell count again)
- for the treatment to be approved by medicare; it is frustrating to think that the only treatment which could save her life "isn't covered"
- for Uncle Rick as he volunteers to be her donor
- PEACE for dad and really all of our family as we are pained to see her suffer and anxious and scared about what may lie ahead.
Thanks so much! Your prayers are appreciated!
Enjoy this week's belated video and REMEMBER 2 PRAY 4 GRANDMA!!!
click here for VIDEO
PLEASE PRAY:
- for her body to continue to stay strong (she required hydration today and will likely need treatment to boost her white blood cell count again)
- for the treatment to be approved by medicare; it is frustrating to think that the only treatment which could save her life "isn't covered"
- for Uncle Rick as he volunteers to be her donor
- PEACE for dad and really all of our family as we are pained to see her suffer and anxious and scared about what may lie ahead.
Thanks so much! Your prayers are appreciated!
Enjoy this week's belated video and REMEMBER 2 PRAY 4 GRANDMA!!!
click here for VIDEO
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Last Chemo for Grandma! & Kroegers' Park City Adventure
Well... Mom is hanging tough after her "last chemo round" before the stem cell transplant. She is borderline neutropenic and the labs she took today will tell us if she has to be admitted for recovery as she has always done in the past. Please pray for continued strength and peace. My mother is the strongest woman I know! Praise the Lord, He gave her the strength to endure this whole process! They have a meeting with the stem cell transplant team in a couple weeks to determine her next steps. It is possible that since the donor (our Uncle Rick) is local, they may be able to do this process in Seattle as opposed to traveling to NIH in D.C. Please continue to pray for healing and strength for mom and guidance for the various teams of doctors as they provide the best care they know how.
We Kroeger's have adjusted to a new schedule this week. I've gone back to work despite the state of affairs in our living quarters. :/ Some boxes have managed to unpack themselves... or rather the little elves are at work all around. ;) Some tears were shed on my Monday morning commute (which was only 20 min!) after I kissed my lil bug & crew goodbye, but I was greeted with a welcome back poster board and freshly cut hydrangeas and lilies (a fav). I received big hugs from sweet patients I've missed dearly and have managed to make my new normal, normal again. Aunt Katie is watching the crew along this her 2 kiddos. She lovingly sent photos and videos on the kiddos to me all day! Prayers for Trav would be appreciated as he has had some negative neurological symptoms in his foot from a nasty infection from cut a few weeks ago. He finished the 10 day intensive antibiotics, but it doesn't seem to have been enough. We pray it does not become more serious. He will likely have blood studies early next week if things don't improve. However, he is currently dubsmashing like a boss... so it can't be that bad. ;) Much love to all you friends and family for your prayers.
Enjoy this week's video that we finally finished from our adventures in Park City from a few weeks past!
Click here for VIDEO
We Kroeger's have adjusted to a new schedule this week. I've gone back to work despite the state of affairs in our living quarters. :/ Some boxes have managed to unpack themselves... or rather the little elves are at work all around. ;) Some tears were shed on my Monday morning commute (which was only 20 min!) after I kissed my lil bug & crew goodbye, but I was greeted with a welcome back poster board and freshly cut hydrangeas and lilies (a fav). I received big hugs from sweet patients I've missed dearly and have managed to make my new normal, normal again. Aunt Katie is watching the crew along this her 2 kiddos. She lovingly sent photos and videos on the kiddos to me all day! Prayers for Trav would be appreciated as he has had some negative neurological symptoms in his foot from a nasty infection from cut a few weeks ago. He finished the 10 day intensive antibiotics, but it doesn't seem to have been enough. We pray it does not become more serious. He will likely have blood studies early next week if things don't improve. However, he is currently dubsmashing like a boss... so it can't be that bad. ;) Much love to all you friends and family for your prayers.
Enjoy this week's video that we finally finished from our adventures in Park City from a few weeks past!
Click here for VIDEO
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Good News for Gram!
I'm sure most of you have heard from my dad, but we have had great news this past week! Thanks for all your prayers... keep them coming! On Monday, mom's specialist reported that her numbers are looking great AND.... drum roll ////////// we found a perfect match for her T-cell transplant! My Uncle Rick (her brother) is a match and is willing to take the necessary steps to help save her life! We are so thankful for this wonderful news! Mom is currently amidst a final round of chemo (at UW Medical Center once again) that they deemed necessary before starting the recovery and prep for the transplant. Continued prayers are needed to help her stay healthy. We pray her mouth sores diminish and that she will be able to easily recover after this round of EPOCH. We look forward to the next steps which provide us a glimmer of hope in this rare cancer journey. Stay tuned! XOXO love to you all who are fervently on your knees for our mother/grandma/sister/friend Pat.
Thank you Lord for your provisions and healing thus far. Continue to renew her body we pray! We realize that there is no where else to trust, but in You! Guide the medical staff's hands and minds as they provide the best care they know. Amen!
On the Kroeger homefront, we are bursting at the seams with boxes, paint cans and discarded bamboo boards. Moving and remodeling and is a mess! (I'm sure you're all experienced to some degree in the area, but Oh MY!) Watching three littles 5 and under while trying to accomplish anything is quite laughable. I think I counted it victory, that I am ALMOST done with unpacking the kitchen. It has taken a week. Perhaps, I can aspire to tackle the bedrooms next... then the dreaded toy sort will begin! Some people thrive on this thing called organization; I cringe. "Am I putting this in the right spot?" "How many spices do I really need?" "Why must all three children start melting down at the SAME time again?" "Do I feel guilty for giving my children PB & J... for ALL meals because our fridge has yet to come?" (and a resilient "NO" echoes in my head;) It comes tomorrow PEOPLE... TOMORROW!!!! ok... here's a snip it of our time in the backyard and dinner out from tonight. I would show you the interior of our place, but I just don't have the strength right now! Did I mention I start work Monday... yeah, so there's that too! :0 Peace, Love and Happiness ya'll! Thanks for remembering to pray for my ma!!!!
click here for VIDEO:)
Thank you Lord for your provisions and healing thus far. Continue to renew her body we pray! We realize that there is no where else to trust, but in You! Guide the medical staff's hands and minds as they provide the best care they know. Amen!
On the Kroeger homefront, we are bursting at the seams with boxes, paint cans and discarded bamboo boards. Moving and remodeling and is a mess! (I'm sure you're all experienced to some degree in the area, but Oh MY!) Watching three littles 5 and under while trying to accomplish anything is quite laughable. I think I counted it victory, that I am ALMOST done with unpacking the kitchen. It has taken a week. Perhaps, I can aspire to tackle the bedrooms next... then the dreaded toy sort will begin! Some people thrive on this thing called organization; I cringe. "Am I putting this in the right spot?" "How many spices do I really need?" "Why must all three children start melting down at the SAME time again?" "Do I feel guilty for giving my children PB & J... for ALL meals because our fridge has yet to come?" (and a resilient "NO" echoes in my head;) It comes tomorrow PEOPLE... TOMORROW!!!! ok... here's a snip it of our time in the backyard and dinner out from tonight. I would show you the interior of our place, but I just don't have the strength right now! Did I mention I start work Monday... yeah, so there's that too! :0 Peace, Love and Happiness ya'll! Thanks for remembering to pray for my ma!!!!
click here for VIDEO:)
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Crazy Kroegers and grandma's update
It's been quite hectic and although I've been taking a lot of clips, we haven't had the time to put together a video... and we may have misplaced our hard drive we use to store said clips. :/ That being said we have been busy remodeling our newly purchased home in an effort to make sure we can move in next week. Cabinets and walls are painted, carpets are being ripped out as I type this and prepped for hardwoods to be laid tomorrow. The kiddos had swimming lessons this week (well, last week as well.... But we didn't quite make it:) which helped us keep out of daddy's hair for the many projects! All in all a good week, but we desparately miss grandma and are planning to visit her this weekend.
Video for this week to come later (after floors are laid!:) pending we locate our hard drive! :/ :). You can enjoy this in the meantime... A belated video from our week in sayulita celebrating our 10 year anniversary with friends (sans Aksel & Emery).
Kroegers take Sayulita!
Update: Mom had to be admitted to UW again this last week following her chemo. She continues to have high fevers and be battling various "bugs." This trip to UW Medical center has been wrought with unexplained and uncontrolable fevers (104+) and increased mouth sores which are typically better controlled in her hospital stays. We pray she will again regain her strength and return home for a while in preparation for her trip to the NIH. Please continue praying!!!! Your prayers are important! This journey of ups and downs continues. We love you mom!!!
Video for this week to come later (after floors are laid!:) pending we locate our hard drive! :/ :). You can enjoy this in the meantime... A belated video from our week in sayulita celebrating our 10 year anniversary with friends (sans Aksel & Emery).
Kroegers take Sayulita!
Update: Mom had to be admitted to UW again this last week following her chemo. She continues to have high fevers and be battling various "bugs." This trip to UW Medical center has been wrought with unexplained and uncontrolable fevers (104+) and increased mouth sores which are typically better controlled in her hospital stays. We pray she will again regain her strength and return home for a while in preparation for her trip to the NIH. Please continue praying!!!! Your prayers are important! This journey of ups and downs continues. We love you mom!!!
Thursday, June 18, 2015
Good News Update!
I received word from my dad today that they had a positive report from mom's oncologist! This seems to rarely happen and we give God due glory for His work in my mom's health. A big thanks to all of you prayer warriors out there as she fights this uphill battle. We are overjoyed to hear that the cancerous cells are greatly diminished and her Epstein-barr virus (EBV) count has dropped from 42,000 (since discovery of the EBV presence) to 3,800!!! This is encouraging news as it seems there has mostly been a barrage of frustrating news in the past. Please continue to pray her as this battle is far from over.
With this good news, comes the ability to take steps toward the treatment that we pray could save her life. She and my dad will fly to NIH in 3 weeks to prepare for the t-cell transplant. (Remember, they are pioneering a new treatment of engineered t-cells to specifically fight this rare cancer.) This trip will allow them to do the necessary gathering of data for her specific cancer in order to engineer these "custom fighter cells." We still need to find a match in order for this process to continue, so please pray for this entire process. Thanks for your love, support and most of all your prayers! God is doing a mighty thing and teaching me about trusting in Him in the process.
Please pray for:
- mom's mouth sores to lessen as they continue to make it difficult for her to talk and eat
- her 3rd round of EPOCH which started tonight at UW Medical center, pray it continues to be as effective as it has been
- a donor match to be found for the t-cell transplant
- both dad and mom to get restful sleep and to truly embrace this good news with lifted spirits
The Kroegers are currently on an adventure with Trav's family in Park City, UT. We couldn't manage to pull together a video, but here are some pics thus far!!!
With this good news, comes the ability to take steps toward the treatment that we pray could save her life. She and my dad will fly to NIH in 3 weeks to prepare for the t-cell transplant. (Remember, they are pioneering a new treatment of engineered t-cells to specifically fight this rare cancer.) This trip will allow them to do the necessary gathering of data for her specific cancer in order to engineer these "custom fighter cells." We still need to find a match in order for this process to continue, so please pray for this entire process. Thanks for your love, support and most of all your prayers! God is doing a mighty thing and teaching me about trusting in Him in the process.
Please pray for:
- mom's mouth sores to lessen as they continue to make it difficult for her to talk and eat
- her 3rd round of EPOCH which started tonight at UW Medical center, pray it continues to be as effective as it has been
- a donor match to be found for the t-cell transplant
- both dad and mom to get restful sleep and to truly embrace this good news with lifted spirits
The Kroegers are currently on an adventure with Trav's family in Park City, UT. We couldn't manage to pull together a video, but here are some pics thus far!!!
Twin Falls, ID
The packed out car!
Sweet morning memories
Emery's princess facepaint
Aksel's a pirate
super ice cream boy!
Super Baby Madsen Boy
Watching the sunset at Guardsman's Pass
Em has her hair back, in a braid! :)
Em with cousin Natalie
Mads 'n Me
A long hike deserves fun park playtime!
Thursday, June 11, 2015
Kroegers' New Pad
Sorry for missing a post last week! Travis, Madsen (7wks) and I went to Sayulita, Mexico with some friends to celebrate our upcoming 10 year anniversary and while we had hoped to post while there... it just wasn't able to happen. This week has been a whirlwind, we closed on our first home (!!!) and we leave tomorrow for a full Kroeger family vacation in Park City, Utah. So while we hope to post while there, we will see if it proves possible. This video depicts today's festivities from our first "camp in" at the new place. It has central air!!! ... so even though we're not "moving in" until July, we may just have to be there more often. ;)
click here for VIDEO
Update: Most of you are probably aware that mom finished her 2nd full treatment of EPOCH chemo last week and did very well. However, similar to last time she was not able to remain at home for her recovery. She again became neutropenic (zero WBC) characterized for her with intense lethargy, increased mouth sores and continuous fevers. She is very blessed to have my dad's ever present watch over her as he monitors her progress and provides her daily care. Alas, she is back at UW medical center for continued care as she tries again to regain her strength (and an increased WBC) in an effort to be ready for her next round of chemo. Her oncologist was positive despite these setbacks, sharing that he thinks with 2-3 more rounds of chemo she may be ready to try the engineered T-cell transplant. Please be praying for her (and my wonderful dad's) strength through this whole process and that a matching blood donor would be found quickly to enable this transplant. Mom, you are a hero to me... not many people would be able to make it through this process as it is so very grueling and taxing on your body and spirit. We love you SO much! XOXO
Also, if you are a pampered chef fan... we are having a "show" in honor of mom's fight against this rare cancer. Proceeds will go to benefit the T-cell leukemia lymhpoma foundation (http://tcllfoundation.org), which was founded by the wonderful, Dr. Shustov (mom's doc).
Please let me know if you would like to be added to the Facebook page or just browse and order directly by logging onto www.pamperedchef.biz/
click here for VIDEO
Update: Most of you are probably aware that mom finished her 2nd full treatment of EPOCH chemo last week and did very well. However, similar to last time she was not able to remain at home for her recovery. She again became neutropenic (zero WBC) characterized for her with intense lethargy, increased mouth sores and continuous fevers. She is very blessed to have my dad's ever present watch over her as he monitors her progress and provides her daily care. Alas, she is back at UW medical center for continued care as she tries again to regain her strength (and an increased WBC) in an effort to be ready for her next round of chemo. Her oncologist was positive despite these setbacks, sharing that he thinks with 2-3 more rounds of chemo she may be ready to try the engineered T-cell transplant. Please be praying for her (and my wonderful dad's) strength through this whole process and that a matching blood donor would be found quickly to enable this transplant. Mom, you are a hero to me... not many people would be able to make it through this process as it is so very grueling and taxing on your body and spirit. We love you SO much! XOXO
Also, if you are a pampered chef fan... we are having a "show" in honor of mom's fight against this rare cancer. Proceeds will go to benefit the T-cell leukemia lymhpoma foundation (http://tcllfoundation.org), which was founded by the wonderful, Dr. Shustov (mom's doc).
Please let me know if you would like to be added to the Facebook page or just browse and order directly by logging onto www.pamperedchef.biz/
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Park at Ramona - T4G wk 9
It was a beautifully sunny and warm day today in Portland. A cool breeze and respite from the sun in the shade was perfect and the Ramona park (or "frog park" as the kids call it) was choice. Aksel and I snuck in some one on one time with play dough as the littles napped. We hope you enjoy this short and sweet video.... but most of all we hope you remember to pray for grandma today.
Click here for VIDEO
UPDATE: My mom has actually been feeling better these last couple days! This is great news as without this turn in her condition she wouldn't have been able to start chemo again as planned, but now she can! She will be admitted to UW Medical center once again tomorrow to start her second round of EPOCH. Mom has lost almost all her hair now, but the promise of a chance at health and her recent sleep-filled nights have increased her spirits. I'm confident that your prayers and her fighting spirit have made this good news possible. We give thanks to God that He is with us through this difficult journey. Keep on keeping on! ... and pray for mom! Love to you all!
Click here for VIDEO
UPDATE: My mom has actually been feeling better these last couple days! This is great news as without this turn in her condition she wouldn't have been able to start chemo again as planned, but now she can! She will be admitted to UW Medical center once again tomorrow to start her second round of EPOCH. Mom has lost almost all her hair now, but the promise of a chance at health and her recent sleep-filled nights have increased her spirits. I'm confident that your prayers and her fighting spirit have made this good news possible. We give thanks to God that He is with us through this difficult journey. Keep on keeping on! ... and pray for mom! Love to you all!
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Beach Day Fun and mom's update
We sought salty air and a cool breeze during the heat this week for Madsen's beach debut. It was a mild 60-65 and a little windy at the Oregon coast. The kiddos love the ocean and everything that comes with it. I am always amazed by their ability to withstand the cold, wind and frigid waters. My mother/ their grandma loves the beach boys, so enjoy some good vibrations this week and send up a prayer for grandma 'cause it was a rough week.
https://vimeo.com/128552158
Update: Another rough week for mom as she ended up getting admitting to the hospital once again Monday night. She had an ongoing fever which wouldn't break and her mouth sores returned with avengence. Labs revealed she is neutropenic (low white blood cell count; 0.0 to be precise). They discovered earlier today via CT scan that she also had a pulmonary embolism which has been contributing to her negative symptoms. We pray she will be well enough to go home tomorrow as planned until her next needed chemo treatment. Thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers.
https://vimeo.com/128552158
Update: Another rough week for mom as she ended up getting admitting to the hospital once again Monday night. She had an ongoing fever which wouldn't break and her mouth sores returned with avengence. Labs revealed she is neutropenic (low white blood cell count; 0.0 to be precise). They discovered earlier today via CT scan that she also had a pulmonary embolism which has been contributing to her negative symptoms. We pray she will be well enough to go home tomorrow as planned until her next needed chemo treatment. Thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers.
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Wk 7 Feeding Fish Frenzy: A stroll to Tanner Springs & UPDATE
Today was a wonderfully lazy day including PJs til noon and "family nap" time while daddy surfed/worked. Before dinner, we headed to Tanner Springs park to feed the fish... and we were surprised to find so many carp lurking below the walkway! It was a beautiful day and the kiddos loved getting outdoors.
PS: We loved seeing you last weekend grandma and grandpa!
https://vimeo.com/127899915
UPDATE:
Grandma is home! Praise the Lord! We were able to visit her on Mother's Day in the hospital and welcomed her home before we headed back to Portland Tuesday afternoon. Mom finished her first round of EPOCH (4 day chemo) and now will be home for 2 1/2 weeks. She was a rockstar, showing her tough side as usual. :) The day after she arrived home was rough as she found her body weak and energy drained. Now she gets to rest, checking in with her care team regularly as she waits to start the next round of EPOCH. She will return to UW Medical Center for this 4 day chemo treatment in a couple weeks. Thanks for your continued prayers!!!
PS: We loved seeing you last weekend grandma and grandpa!
https://vimeo.com/127899915
UPDATE:
Grandma is home! Praise the Lord! We were able to visit her on Mother's Day in the hospital and welcomed her home before we headed back to Portland Tuesday afternoon. Mom finished her first round of EPOCH (4 day chemo) and now will be home for 2 1/2 weeks. She was a rockstar, showing her tough side as usual. :) The day after she arrived home was rough as she found her body weak and energy drained. Now she gets to rest, checking in with her care team regularly as she waits to start the next round of EPOCH. She will return to UW Medical Center for this 4 day chemo treatment in a couple weeks. Thanks for your continued prayers!!!
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Aksel turns 5 & update
My eldest, Aksel turned 5 this week. He is a cinco de mayo baby and this was his golden birthday! This video is a compilation from the weeks events... including his first ride on his new bike. Aksel, Emery and Madsen miss you grandpa and grandma! We can't wait to see you for Mother's Day!!! Madsen will be able to meet grandma and grandpa at last! XOXO
https://vimeo.com/127231195
Update: Today was a hard day for mom, dad and our family. We discovered that mom's pneumonia seems to have resolved, however her lymphoma has spread to her lungs. This is evidence that the T-cell lymphoma is indeed continuing to spread. She will not be able to come home from the hospital as she has started a 4 day intensive chemo today called EPOCH (4 day chemo, 2 weeks off). This will not cure her, but rather we are praying that she can gain strength under this new 4 month process in order to see if she can be a candidate for the T-cell transplant.
Prayer Requests:
~ Strength for mom and dad as they are tired and mom longs to be home
~ Quality of life after the chemo would allow her to feel better in-between treatments
~ Pray she responds to this new chemo and that it would keep the lymphoma from spreading
~ Pray for all the family as our hearts continue to break with difficult news
https://vimeo.com/127231195
Update: Today was a hard day for mom, dad and our family. We discovered that mom's pneumonia seems to have resolved, however her lymphoma has spread to her lungs. This is evidence that the T-cell lymphoma is indeed continuing to spread. She will not be able to come home from the hospital as she has started a 4 day intensive chemo today called EPOCH (4 day chemo, 2 weeks off). This will not cure her, but rather we are praying that she can gain strength under this new 4 month process in order to see if she can be a candidate for the T-cell transplant.
Prayer Requests:
~ Strength for mom and dad as they are tired and mom longs to be home
~ Quality of life after the chemo would allow her to feel better in-between treatments
~ Pray she responds to this new chemo and that it would keep the lymphoma from spreading
~ Pray for all the family as our hearts continue to break with difficult news
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Cousin Adventure T4G- wk 5 & status update
Today we had the privilege of a fun visit from Lynessa with her two boys, Gunnar and Kellan. This video includes our adventures of a crazy cousin sleepover, trip to OMSI (Oregon Museum of Science & Industry) as well as a visit to the Adidas campus (including a tour and employee store shopping spree, thanks Mo!). This is the first video with all 5 of your grandchildren mom and dad! Enjoy!
https://vimeo.com/126576325
Update: My mother, Pat has had a really rough last couple days. Unfortunately, chemo had to be temporarily suspended due to a respiratory infection. She was admitted to UW Medical Center last night and they discovered she has pneumonia in both lungs (upper lobe). She taking a heavy dose of antibiotics and monitored regularly. She had a throat scope today which revealed inflammation. We are praying this will be resolved with the antibiotic treatment, otherwise they will need to biopsy them to determine if they are also cancerous tumor lesions. She was in a lot of pain and unable to eat today, but she should have pain medication on board now... so hopefully eating will not be as painful tomorrow. Overall she is very fatigued and could use our prayers for strength and healing of this infection so that she can resume her biweekly chemo and continue to prepare and plan for the T-cell transplant.
https://vimeo.com/126576325
Update: My mother, Pat has had a really rough last couple days. Unfortunately, chemo had to be temporarily suspended due to a respiratory infection. She was admitted to UW Medical Center last night and they discovered she has pneumonia in both lungs (upper lobe). She taking a heavy dose of antibiotics and monitored regularly. She had a throat scope today which revealed inflammation. We are praying this will be resolved with the antibiotic treatment, otherwise they will need to biopsy them to determine if they are also cancerous tumor lesions. She was in a lot of pain and unable to eat today, but she should have pain medication on board now... so hopefully eating will not be as painful tomorrow. Overall she is very fatigued and could use our prayers for strength and healing of this infection so that she can resume her biweekly chemo and continue to prepare and plan for the T-cell transplant.
Thursday, April 23, 2015
It's a boy!!! Welcome to the world Madsen Flynn!
This post is dedicated to the newest grand baby, Madsen Flynn, our third child. His middle name, Flynn was derived from grandma, Patsy Lynn. Baby decided to come early Sunday morning, 4/19 at 1:59am. He weighed in at 8 lb (well approximately... as he decided to poo and pee all over me before an "accurate weight" could be attained:) and 19 3/4 in. The entire labor was 58 minutes... we barely got to the hospital! Pure joy and deep love is all that we can say to describe our instant connection with this little one. We were all convinced he was a girl... except for Aksel, who repeatedly told us we were expecting a boy! He is very happy to let all know, he was right. :) Enjoy... we surely are! Can't wait for you to meet him mom and dad!
https://vimeo.com/125864316
https://vimeo.com/125864316
Thursday, April 16, 2015
Playing at the Fields Park & Family Pics - thurs4gram wk 3
Today was a gorgeous day and we spent 3+ hrs at the Fields Park across the street from us. We lunched, played in the sand and enjoyed the rays this morning. Sharing popsicles (quite literally:) with our neighbors in the courtyard was the highlight of the kiddos' evening! This video ends with our family pictures which were taken last week, courtesy of the fabulous Ryan & Kristine of www.wearesisu.com. Enjoy! We love you grandma & grandpa!
https://vimeo.com/125217369
https://vimeo.com/125217369
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Thursdays for Grandma - Easter and Zoo Day edition
This video is composed of our celebration from Easter Sunday as well as our visit to the Oregon Zoo today. (Sorry for the poor video quality at the end... we can fix that later:)
Happy Easter Grandpa and Grandma! We missed not being able to see you last weekend! Hopefully our baby sister or brother comes soon so we can come visit you! We had a lot of fun at the zoo today... a highlight was the carousel for sure!
Love,
Aksel & Em
Please follow the link below for this week's video!
https://vimeo.com/124593224
Happy Easter Grandpa and Grandma! We missed not being able to see you last weekend! Hopefully our baby sister or brother comes soon so we can come visit you! We had a lot of fun at the zoo today... a highlight was the carousel for sure!
Love,
Aksel & Em
Please follow the link below for this week's video!
https://vimeo.com/124593224
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
So what Cancer is Grandma Battling?
Pat Bode, beloved mother and grandma, has been diagnosed with an extremely rare case of cutaneous T-cell lymphoma. We are talking win the worst lottery for rare cancer award, as she is one of only seventeen people ever documented with this type of cancer. Cutaneous T-cell lymphoma in general accounts for approximately 2-3% of all non-hodgkins lymphomas. Her sub-type is virtually unknown with no real prognosis due to its rarity. Basically, she has a combination of Epstein-Barr virus and the cutaneous T-cell lymphoma. These two disease processes and their cells are fighting each other and proliferating at an incredible rate.
"Lymphoma occurs when cells of the immune system called lymphocytes, a type of white blood cell, grow and multiply uncontrollably. Cancerous lymphocytes can travel to many parts of the body, including the lymph nodes, spleen, bone marrow, blood, or other organs, and form a mass called a tumor. The body has two main types of lymphocytes that can develop into lymphomas: B-lymphocytes (B-cells) and T-lymphocytes (T-cells)."
"Lymphoma occurs when cells of the immune system called lymphocytes, a type of white blood cell, grow and multiply uncontrollably. Cancerous lymphocytes can travel to many parts of the body, including the lymph nodes, spleen, bone marrow, blood, or other organs, and form a mass called a tumor. The body has two main types of lymphocytes that can develop into lymphomas: B-lymphocytes (B-cells) and T-lymphocytes (T-cells)."
(http://www.lymphoma.org/site/pp.asp?c=bkLTKaOQLmK8E&b=6300151)
These cancerous cells have been found in her blood as well as her bone marrow. She is currently receiving weekly intravenous chemotherapy treatments to combat the cancer while simultaneously finishing a strong anti-viral to try and keep the Epstein-Barr virus at bay. Given the chemo treatments are able to decrease these cancer cells, in 3 months or more time, she will be a candidate for a stem cell transplant. This is a unique trial opportunity in which stem cells are specifically engineered to fight and combat these cancerous T-cells.
It has taken almost two years to reach this specific diagnosis mostly due its complex nature and rarity. We move forward, trudge on much due to the support of friends and family showing their love, support and constant prayer. My mother is an incredibly strong woman in faith and spirit. It has been difficult to see her so weak, vulnerable and essentially homebound. Thanks for joining us in praying for her.
Prayer Requests:
- The sores in her mouth to heal so she can talk and eat without pain
- That the joy of the Lord would fill her heart and cover her in the inevitable loneliness that comes with being homebound
- Strength for my father, an unsung hero, who has taken such wonderful care of her and the household chores
- The Epstein-Barr virus would subside and that in turn, her energy would return
- The chemo would prove effective in combating the cancer cells
- There would be a match for a stem cell donor (siblings are currently being tested, children will be next)
- Continual guidance for the doctors as they seek the best treatment options for her
Thank you all!!! Let's show this cancer that the power of prayer is real!
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Playing and praying hard for grandma this Thursday!
"Come wis us to da park, gwama!" Aksel (4)
We had the privilege of a special visit from cousin Kirsten Postma and sweet baby Hudson this week. We took the streetcar to Wallace Park today and stopped for cake pops, a kiddo fav, on the way home! A visit from Peter Pan and Tinkerbell finished evening play! "We wuv u dama!!!" Emery (2)
For higher quality please follow our vimeo link below:
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