My heart is hurting, I don't really have the words or energy to write well, but my mom deserves one last post. My mother, Patsy Lynn Bode, was the most courageous woman I have ever known. She taught me so many things in life. First and foremost, love the Lord thy God with all they heart, soul, and mind. Secondly, strength, she faced this disease valiantly, never letting on when she was hurting and in pain. She drew her strength from the Lord. Third, her servant's heart was evident to all she met. She loved others well, including her children and grandchildren.
My final promise to her was that I would teach my children to love and know the Lord so that we might all be together again. As I looked at her ragged, worn body, I felt a peace and confidence that she was indeed headed to a better place. We sang "It is well with my soul" as she took her final breath and looked up suddenly, eyes wide, as if she was looking into the face of Jesus.
A mixture of pain and joy continue to wash over me.
My children are a great source of strength (and at times exhaustion:) for me. Aksel sees me crying frequently and says, "Mommy, are you sad because grandma died?" I reply, "Yes love, I miss her very much. Are you sad?" At first his response was "Yes" however, today smiling he said, "No... because she is with God now." How powerful that is. I am reminded about a child-like Faith and truly see that in my children. Emery notices instantly when I am sad and runs to give me a kiss and a hug. We will make it through this tsunami of pain by the grace of God, surrounded by those we love.
At times I am frustrated, crying out, "Why God?" Then I think about the blessing she was in my life and experience gratitude for the time I had with her here on earth and the peace that comes with the promise of seeing her again someday. If even one comes to know the Lord through this pain and her passing, I count it gain. Please continue to pray for my father. His loss is somehow more profound than mine. He cared for her everyday in the most amazing way. I pray for comfort for him as he too learns to carry on. We will never be the same, never again feel whole, but knowing and loving my mother was worth every tear and every pain. My kids will likely remember little about her, but I can continue her legacy the best I can through teaching them to love the Lord and reminding them how deeply she cared for them.
Mom, I say goodbye for now, til I see you again. XOXO
Click here to watch remembrance video of Grandma
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Friday, November 6, 2015
Prayer Warriors needed....
So here I am ... Waiting for mom to come out of her interventional radiology procedure. She had to be admitted to the ICU last night/this morning and so I drove up from Portland to be by her side. I needed to be here, wanted to be here. She is fragile right now and we are all at times emotional. She was doing so well, but a second intestinal bleed occurred and they are now fixing it. I have no video to attach to this, today we just pray for mom to have the strength to continue on and to guide they hands of those who work with her. This is the space I was so scared of finding myself in... but here we are. This is a time for prayer, because truly God's hand has to be at work to give her (and us) the strength she (we) need. We'll keep you posted. Xoxo
UPdATE: They were able to control the bleeding for now... We won't know whether it will solve the issue for good until time passes. Please continue to pray! Thank you!
2nd procedure: this was very scary and critical... but praise the Lord!!! She made it through. We now wait and hope the procedure (IR) was enough to fix her issues. Of course it was a rare bleed in the lower small intestine (first case one of them had seen) which is likely an anatomical anomalie which means it could possibly happen elsewhere. There is also a chance the bowel could "die" in which case she'd need to go to surgery. She is not currently a good candidate for surgery, so pray for health and strength. Thanks for your prayers!!! Today seems proof that miracles happen as the physicians hands were guided. Blessed be the name of the Lord!!!! The next 48 hrs are critical... So keep up the prayer chain... You are all amazing!
Well... Mom made it out of surgery last night. They resected 5 feet of her bowel. Her bleeding has stopped, but her body is now going into shock from all the trauma and blood transfusions. She is likely not long for this earth. Thanks for your continued prayers. We now ask peace for the family and for mom as she prepares for heaven. ❤️
We rejoice that mom has gone to heaven where there is no pain or sorrow, but I selfishly want her here. God had other plans that we don't always understand, but I praise Him for His goodness to us despite everything. We will see her in heaven someday... There is comfort in that. I will remind my children how much their grandma loved them. She was such a woman of Faith and strength and I am forever grateful to have had her in my life.
Lord,
We delivered mom to you today. We literally sang her into Your Glory. Thank you for that opportunity. We don't understand your plans, but we trust they are good and perfect. Continue to watch over us as we grieve her loss. We love you, thanks for gifting us eternal life.
Amen
UPdATE: They were able to control the bleeding for now... We won't know whether it will solve the issue for good until time passes. Please continue to pray! Thank you!
2nd procedure: this was very scary and critical... but praise the Lord!!! She made it through. We now wait and hope the procedure (IR) was enough to fix her issues. Of course it was a rare bleed in the lower small intestine (first case one of them had seen) which is likely an anatomical anomalie which means it could possibly happen elsewhere. There is also a chance the bowel could "die" in which case she'd need to go to surgery. She is not currently a good candidate for surgery, so pray for health and strength. Thanks for your prayers!!! Today seems proof that miracles happen as the physicians hands were guided. Blessed be the name of the Lord!!!! The next 48 hrs are critical... So keep up the prayer chain... You are all amazing!
Well... Mom made it out of surgery last night. They resected 5 feet of her bowel. Her bleeding has stopped, but her body is now going into shock from all the trauma and blood transfusions. She is likely not long for this earth. Thanks for your continued prayers. We now ask peace for the family and for mom as she prepares for heaven. ❤️
We rejoice that mom has gone to heaven where there is no pain or sorrow, but I selfishly want her here. God had other plans that we don't always understand, but I praise Him for His goodness to us despite everything. We will see her in heaven someday... There is comfort in that. I will remind my children how much their grandma loved them. She was such a woman of Faith and strength and I am forever grateful to have had her in my life.
Lord,
We delivered mom to you today. We literally sang her into Your Glory. Thank you for that opportunity. We don't understand your plans, but we trust they are good and perfect. Continue to watch over us as we grieve her loss. We love you, thanks for gifting us eternal life.
Amen
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